Too Legit to Quit

Giving up on something always seems like a failure, doesn’t it?  We set a goal for something, things didn’t work out as we hoped, and it’s eventually left by the wayside.  Quitting can really seem like you let yourself down or you didn’t live up to your own expectations.  But this isn’t necessarily so (thanks Gershwin). The answer might not be so straightforward and definitely requires some self-reflection as well as entertaining some broader implications.

Let’s keep this in the music realm, though I think that these ideas are translatable to other fields. You’ve decided the song you’re learning isn’t bringing you the joy you thought it would.  Practicing it isn’t fun anymore or you feel like the effort you have put in won’t be worth it in the end.  What options do you have? There are always some benefits to seeing through an endeavor to its end. However, there may be some songs that could help you achieve the same goal.  But abandoning the original always leaves a bad taste, right?  But in the most practical sense, the time you spent learning was not in vain.  The skills you gained in practicing the first piece can aid in the learning of the second (and every subsequent one) if you allow them to. 

Wider scope, maybe music lessons are now a chore and not the magic they once were.  Music lessons can be such a joy and fulfillment, educating us in so many ways.  But, like many things in life, it is also a commitment that requires a lot of time, effort, and money.  Children (and adults) today have so many commitments (both during and after school hours), is it really shameful to prioritize one over the other?  I would say absolutely not.  Quitting an extracurricular can free up time to spend with family or more intensely study a more favored subject.  Saying “yes” to one thing is always saying “no” to something else.

It is always a tough decision when dropping something that means (or meant) a lot to you. But keep in mind that very few things are ever put in the “quit” column forever. You always have the choice to come back to it later, with deeper understanding or with renewed interest. This may seem like I am encouraging stopping tasks halfway through. Of course, quitting does not come without consequences. The teacher you stopped taking lessons from may not have an open slot if you decide to start up again. Taking an extended break usually means starting a few steps backward from where you were before. I don’t support quitting for its own sake, but also don’t discourage it if the reasons are well thought out.

I have taught students who have stopped taking piano lessons with me in the past.  Of course there is always a moment of sadness during that last meeting, but I love seeing them one step closer to being the person they want to be.  I am always so grateful that I could be a part of their life and journey and to help them discover themselves on a deeper level.  Sometimes it really is time to move on and all I can do as a visitor is wish them well.

There are so many considerations to be made before cutting out an activity from your life.  The best thing you can do is really meditate on what you want and then act accordingly.  Listen to and respect your inner wants and needs and try not to judge your choices if you are acting with good intentions, even if you end up changing your mind later.