Patience

In a world where more and more things can be given to us immediately, what role does patience play? Is it more or less valuable? Should we ever be impatient? Is it ever clear which things will be worth the time we spent on them?

Patience is defined as the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. What are we saying to others when we are patient with them? What are we saying to ourselves when we are patient with ourselves? Patience seems to be a form of knowledge; knowledge that things don’t always work out the way we want or expect them to work out.

Is there ever a time to be impatient?  If we are interpreting “impatience” as an inability to accept things as we see them or as they are, it seems like the answer is no.  But how do we know which things we can change and which we cannot?  Some seem obvious and some are less so.  Unwavering support seems like a positive attribute (until it’s not).  Getting angry or upset at something doesn’t really change anything on its own, but it seems like a natural starting point.  Maybe impatience is reacting in a way that makes things worse than they were had we not accepted them?

I feel more than ever as a teacher, that I am called not so much to transmit information, but to be a patient companion or chaperone on a journey of self-discovery (even if playing, listening, or even appreciating music is not part of that equation once lessons have concluded).  Unearthing something about yourself that you wish to change can be a frightening experience with an undefined path ahead.  But if we want to even just make an effort, it takes a lot of patience and forgiveness.  There are so many layers to each and every one of us, so many reasons why we make the decisions we make.  It helps to have someone in your corner to help keep you accountable, to be a sounding board, to explore alongside.

The more I realize how fallible, how imperfect I am, the more patient I am with others.  And the more I appreciate those who were patient with me, and granted me grace because they wanted what was best for me.